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  • Roma Kessaram

Infertility and Menstrual Irregularity: Examining A Metaphysical Cause

Updated: Apr 6


Some people seek counseling therapy to deal with the emotional trauma that infertility can cause. Likely, the therapist will help couples to process the emotions that surface over failing to get pregnant (depression, low-self esteem and grief) as well as emotions such as anger, resentment and guilt which may arise in one or both individuals and cause tension in the relationship. What both the medical establishment and counseling therapists may overlook, is a metaphysical cause of the fertility issue, which has its roots in the nature of the relationship itself.


To be sure, there may be many metaphysical causes but one in particular that I am observing with increasing frequency in my practice is metaphysical energy depletion or drainage by one partner through the hijacking of the other's first (root) chakra, and a strong negative cording of the other's second (sacral) chakra. The partner engaging in the hijacking and cording is likely a narcissist and may suffer from some form of narcissistic personality disorder. Both the root and sacral chakras are concerned with fertility and the menstrual cycle. Indeed, if you are experiencing menstrual irregularity, this post is equally applicable.


Some clients are caught off-guard when I suggest that their partner may be a narcissist, irrespective of whether the presenting issue is infertility. (Here it might assist some to refer to the condition as toxic insecurity or toxic vulnerability to prevent us from shutting down when we hear the word narcissism - forgive me for using narcissism as a shorthand for the remainder of this post). It is outside the scope of this article to examine the different traits and types of narcissism but suffice to say that often the client feels like they are in a good relationship with their partner, which view may be reinforced by those on the outside who constantly remind them that they are lucky to have found this person.


This false reality may be born of the early stage of "love-bombing" by the narcissist, the client's own co-dependent tendencies, or trauma-bonding (a form of Stockholm Syndrome). Some forms of narcissism are often hard to recognize and the relationship patterns with the narcissist are not immediately discerned as damaging, and yet the body is constantly under subtle stress. If you are in this category of people who believes that their relationship is fine but have not been thriving in it or worse, are experiencing inexplicable physical challenges only one of which is infertility, please read on and please educate yourself on the forms of narcissism especially covert/vulnerable narcissism.


Hijacking of the Root Chakra


Infertility tends to be one of those mysteries of life, the underlying causes of which stump most people but anecdotally it seems that there is increasing resort to IVF as a solution, perhaps indicating greater prevalence. One of my primary motivating factors in my healing practice is to help people understand the root causes of conditions and imbalances in the body.


To this extent my experience is that part of the energetic pathology of narcissism is that the narcissist, themselves likely a victim of severe trauma, has an incompletely developed or completely hijacked root chakra of their own. This is the first energetic center to develop after birth and is connected with our sense of security, identity and place in the world. Where childhood abuse or other trauma has been experienced, the child's root chakra may be hijacked by their perpetrator and they will unconsciously perpetuate that energetic violation in their intimate partnerships. Often the intimate partner may experience imbalances in addition to the infertility which are signals that the body, mind, and spirit are having trouble grounding because of this hijacking. These may include anxiety-depression cycles and unmodulated sexual desire (too much or too little). Therefore, if there is a co-occurrence of infertility and one of these two other indicators, and frankly, even if there is not, you may choose to understand narcissism a bit more before seeking out a fertility treatment.


Negative Cording of the Sacral Chakra


In Sanskrit the sacral chakra is called Svadhisthana which means, where the self is established. It is the creative and manifestation center and corresponds to the location of many reproductive organs. The manifest insecurity that the narcissist feels almost all of the time, causes him to energetically cord his partner at the sacral chakra. This not only ensures his creative energetic supply but also correspondingly diminishes this energy in the partner - it is usually not a two-way flow of good energy! Therefore, it stands to reason that one's reproductive capacity will be diminished if metaphysical energy is being drained from this center. Moreover, life force energy may also be drained. If, in addition to infertility, you are experiencing low energy and mental fog as well as lower back pain, these are potential signs that the adrenal glands and kidneys are under stress. It is very possible that the cause of the stress is drainage from the energy body because of the negative cording of the narcissist.


Further Energetic Pathology


Gastro-intestinal problems, often on a metaphysical level reflective of additional negative cording in the solar plexus chakra are also a tell-tale sign that energy is being drained from this center. The solar plexus chakra is the seat of our personal power and if you feel a sense of disempowerment and disconnection to the world, you would be wise to understand whether this correlates with the start of conflict in the relationship when what is thought to be the second stage of the narcissist's strategy of controlling their target ramps up - the devaluing stage.


Amidst the struggle to get pregnant when we experience fertility problems, it perhaps feels hard and counter-intuitive to begin examining the dynamics of the relationship itself and possible underlying emotional and personality disorders. And yet, with the advent of modern technology including fertility treatment, we may ignore the inherent wisdom of nature and of our bodies and forget to engage in more discerning, rigorous inquiry into the ultimate root cause of the challenge. Those with intuitive and metaphysical gifts as well as a strong grounding in their own life experience, may be able to assist us in finding the answers.


Please book a session or contact me if I can assist in your healing journey: romakessaram@gmail.com


Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist or medical professional of any type. The views expressed herein are not intended to convey psychological or medical advice or diagnose any psychological or medical condition. Please additionally consult your psychological or medical professional if you are experiencing any of the challenges described herein.




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